Gratitude Practice 2020 Day 119: My old work like in my happy blue and white office in downtown Salt Lake City
According to my prison wall-esk tick mark calendar system, today is day 65 of this whole social isolation work from home in your PJ's adventure. SIXTY-FIVE DAYS! How? Really? REALLY? Really.
Before today, I had only been to my office twice during this COVID-19 twilight zone. Both times were super brief to drop something off and pick something up. Like fast targeted visits. Both in and out. Done and done. And then back in my car to my home to isolate like a good citizen does. For the most part, I think I've figured out how to do this whole work from home thing but today, I was struck by how much I miss my old routine, my old space, my old way of life.
Today, I needed to complete a project that I could not do from home and was totally surprised by the rush of gratitude for my cozy little blue and white rectangle office. I walked in and remembered my old work life. I put by bag on my desk like I do...like I did. I sat down in my comfy swivel chair. I looked at my pen jar, my silly stapler. My wall of desk size calendars that drive our yearlong work and planning. I looked at my two absurd overstuff office chairs remembering the endless meetings and conversations held in this small room with my work family. I looked at my computer monitor which now seems gratuitous and enormous compared to my at home laptop screen. I looked at my neglected office plants and felt gratitude that they are succulents and therefore are encouraged to be neglected to thrive....whew! This is my space and I boy have I missed it.
Such a strange and stupid and meaningful and powerful and exhausting and inspiring perspective this pandemic is providing. NEVER have I felt a rush of gratitude for my swivel chair, my desk, my tape dispenser, my wire baskets, and the perfect amount of light that enters in from my window. Grateful for this tiny space, for the work I get to do in it, for the people I get to office next too. Grateful for my privilege...WOW...how did I get this lucky. Grateful for my access to education, for my prior professional experiences and mentors and projects. Grateful for a handful of colossal epic failures, and missteps and overreaches and for the kindness, patience and forgiveness of my work colleagues over the years. Grateful for the community partners that walk with us hand in hand as we do this work of serving kids and families. Grateful for a printer/scanner/copier....who would have thoughts? Grateful for a supply closet, for whiteboard markers, for our crammed little conference room with its poor air circulation. Grateful for to be employed by Salt Lake City Corporation and for their commitment to supporting our community during this health and economic crisis. Grateful to be able to work full-time and help support our family throughout this incredibly unsettling time. Grateful for both the flexibility and the high standard to quality maintained by our team and leadership. Just so darn grateful.
After I finished my project, I decided that it was time my trusty swivel chair be liberated from our lonely office and I packed her into the back of my car and brought her home...and now here I sit swiveling in my front room make shift office and things just seem to be working a tiny bit better. I spent the afternoon working like I do every Thursday but not in my cozy downtown office...I did my work from my front yard as my tiny co-worker painted our house and sidewalk with water and rode her bike up and down our street all the while singing to her self and to our neighbors. This is such a bizarro time of life! Gushing with gratitude for my silly office one moment and then overflowing with gratitude for this totally unplanned for time with my kid and laptop and my lawn chair and my cell phone. For my daily zoom calls with my team and for our new and ongoing projects that somehow seem to be progressing. How can one be so grateful for both things at the same time?
Like everyone on the planet, I am ready for the new normal life to kick in. And at the same time...I just know that I'm going to miss some aspects of this wacko season working from home. This new routine. The new patterns we have created. Working alongside my tiny co-worker all day long with Burke in his basement office bunker meeting up during the lunch hour to re-heat leftovers together. It's not lost on me how privileged this perspective is and how fortunate we have been. It's stunning and humbling and overwhelming and powerful to think about these blessings. Just really trying to remember and learn and unlearn all that I can from these 65+ days. Perhaps unprecedented feelings accompany unprecedented times?