Gratitude Practice 2020 Day 126: Paid Time-off and East Canyon Reservoir

This week was a real whopper and Friday afternoon could not come fast enough. The farther we get into this pandemic the more convinced I am that anxiety and exhaustion and fatigue...cycle. Seems like everything feels pretty do-able for a stretch and then it's back to anxiety wack-a-mole for a few concentrated days. Just too much news and speculation. Too many conflicting suggested CDC guidelines. Too many phases of phases of phases of phases to come. Too many zooms. Way too many unknowns, and perhaps and in times. Way too many times I responded to my teams common question: "Oh, the due date? How about we work towards getting this project done both as soon as possible and the second Tuesday after probably never. Ummmkay. Makes sense, right?" Just way too many loose ends and potential scenarios and what if's for my prefered level of structured planning. By Friday afternoon...I am DONE and the gas tank was bone dry today around 3pm. Insert gaint sigh here. Totally confident that in time all things are figure-out-able but until then I'm super grateful for a little paid time-off and a little strategic time in nature.

Grateful to be able to close my laptop, end the final zoom call, shelf the to do list, silence the cell phone as SK and I staged our almost daily jailbreak.

Grateful for a generous benefits package that affords both voluntary down time and financial security. Paid time-off is no small thing and it's not lost on me that having it is clearly an aspect of privilege. Deeply grateful and appreciative for this benefit and wish it was universally shared.

Grateful for nature and today the moody beauty of East Canyon Reservoir. Perfect blend of water and mountain and desert just a short drive from home. Did not even dip one toe into this glimmering water but our simple stroll along the path was just what we needed.

Grateful for SK's curiosity and willingness and ever growing sense of adventure. She is starting to look for patterns in nature and ask questions about topography and we've decided to personally rename each location we visit. We saw two deer prance in the meadow today and she was completely delighted and surprised. I live for these simple moments.

Grateful for the healing tool of exploring the outdoors that we are using on the regular to steady and repurpose and restore.

Grateful for both access and the ability to push reset. After a few unscheduled unregulated unmeasured hours we returned home rested and securely returned to ourselves to our family bunker both feeling almost human again.