Gratitude Practice 2020 Day 200: The Healing Power of Backyard Grass
Today was hard. Like really hard. By 6pm I felt empty and a bit broken and depleted. I felt it to my bones. And in some ways it seems like I reached another tipping point. Burke took over dinner duties and continued to check on me as I sat in my chair stunned trying to make sense of the day. SK drew a very telling question tonight from the dinner time question jar and it was one that took a lot of effort for me to answer. The question was…."What made you laugh today?" Both Burke and Sarah Kate provided easy answers and shared light hearted fun stories. I remained silent hoping that time and space would pass quickly so I would not have to answer. It didn't. And my sweet girl who so easily notices and picks up on the mood and vibe in the room timidly asked me the question a second time. I took a moment to pause knowing that my answer would have a big impact on our evening and my little lady would so easily pick up on my big feelings. I said that today was not a great day and that sadly nothing had made me laugh. She just looked at me and somehow she knew...like she really knew...like her tiny soul connected to mine kind of knowing. She replied with a kind and caring…”oh”...and then returned to pretending to eat her dinner.
After swimming inside my head for a bit I announced that I was heading to bed. Burke gave me a loving nod and we both knew that it was probably the best decision for everyone. But my tiny wise sage of a girl bravely suggested that we check on our garden and our growing vegetables first.
How this wiser than I ever realize five year old knew that checking on our garden would be the exact thing my weary soul needed will forever be a mystery. Not only were we surprised by our growing crop but all three of us were down right delighted to discover an almost two foot long zucchini and about six other summer squashes. How this tiny garden continues to produce so many gourds is totally beyond me because we are really not great at farming. As is our tradition, we laid out the crop from end to end on our grass and Sarah Kate laid down next to the long line of health and wellness to see who was taller. Because the weekly harvest was so great she encouraged Burke, my over six foot tall husband, to lay down to see if our harvest exceeded even his height. It did and we were all giggling and laughing before too long. Then my determined daughter encouraged me to lay down and as I did my body and my heart and my mind were engulfed in the goodness of our backyard lawn. The grass was so cold and refreshing on my rage filled skin. I laid there looking up while Burke and Sarah Kate danced and laughed around me and our zucchini. I think it's been years and maybe even a full decade since the last time I just laid in the grass and looked up. I stayed in this position for well over an hour as my brain and emotions slowly returned to a more leveled state. Tonight, I am grateful for my incredibly wise and loving kid. My generous and understanding husband. And our silly backyard garden that just seems to produce way more goodness for our family than a few green and yellow gourds.
